What do you feel like on the days you have doctor appointments?
Do you look forward to your appointments, or do you feel a clenching in your chest?
Do you anticipate being heard and responded to, or being rushed and “processed”?
Will you come out of the appointment a step farther along your healing journey, or is the appointment just another errand?
Debbie Ford was a remarkable spiritual teacher who came back from cocaine and opiate addiction to become a voice of inspiration and hope. Well into her long bout with cancer, Debbie was interviewed by Oprah about God and facing death. Midway through, Debbie said something remarkable:
“If your doctor doesn’t inspire you, find one who does.”
Hmm. Like most of us, I hadn’t considered selecting my doctors for their inspiration quotient. But if I think about it, there are ways in which I want to be inspired by my doctors.
· Is my doctor a good role model for the nutrition, exercise and other lifestyle practices that s/he is asking me to abide by?
· Does my doctor inspire my trust by listening well and responding to my questions and requests?
· Does my doctor encourage me to participate in managing my health, so that each visit is an opportunity to learn and grow?
· Does my doctor recognize that my emotional wellbeing is essential to my overall wellness, and is s/he prepared to help me become healthier at that level?
· Is my doctor someone I can talk to about my deepest concerns and count on to present all my options?
· Does my doctor recognize that my quality of life is at least as important as my longevity, and treat me accordingly?
I don’t think it’s too much to ask that a doctor strive to inspire. In fact, I think inspiration may just be at the heart of the healing process. My mission has always been to help you see yourself healthier and happier, and empower you to become that healthier, happier you from wherever you are now. Healthy and happy, because wellness is incomplete when the joy isn’t there, and because joy is attainable and beneficial no matter what state of physical wellness you’re in.
Is that a vision you can buy into?
Chaim Margolin says
The Physician I would like to see or perhaps be,one who is,
1.Humble to God i.e understands that his responsibility is much greater than himself and therefore will act with humility.He/she will understand that his task is not only to be a technician but to TRULY heal.
Healing involves inspiration able to give hope in ALL circumstances.Acting with kindness seeing oneself as a messenger of goodness and healing and act accordingly.
2.Will have the greatest interest in the patient,will be able to be honest to suggest a different modality of healing if it is for the benefit of the patient,although it might entirely different from the training he/she might have had.The patient should feel that this person has his/ her best interest,not CYA or promote the establishment or ego.Is willing to educate the patient to take responsibility to help him get healed what ever way,modality method with true honesty not personal ego
drshanifox says
So glad to hear from you, Chaim! I so agree: humility is an important trait in a physician. There is not one of us who has all the answers, and we must be open to collaboration in order to bring patients whatever meets their particular needs. I also love your comment about offering hope in all circumstances. I flinch every time I hear from someone who received a prognosis that implied little hope. There are often many more possibilities for healing than statistics would imply.
Ruth Huglin says
What I would want from my Physician is not what I’m experiencing at this time. I would wish for a Physician who had read my history in their file, before entering the exam, room. At least remembering how old I am and my family history. A firm handshake could establish a warm welcome. Perhaps reviewing my present life, including work and family would indicate her interest in my homelife. Aburptly questioning the reason for my visit leaves out a friendly concern for my welfare and happiness at the present time. My Physician was assigned to me 20 years ago when I joined Kaiser. I have seen this Practioner at least once every 2 years. I’ve only had three conditions where she referred me to a specialist and never once called to ask how I was doing. I felt she was able to diagnose my problem and must have received follow up reports regarding my condition. I feel if I met this woman on the street, she wouldn’t remember me. I don’t expect her to be my friend . however the warmth of human kindness is so needed in the medical arena. I’ve thought about requesting a different Physician. How will I know how to be successful in this?
Hope this is helpful information. Ruth Huglin
drshanifox says
Thank you for your thoughtful comments, Ruth. I’m sorry to hear that your care feels anonymous. You are right to expect coordination between physicians when there’s been a specialist referral. Hold the referring physician to this. This may feel like a bother, but it’s likely to be the only way she’ll get the message.
If you’re not getting the greetings or phone check-ins that make you feel cared about, then perhaps it is time to change physicians. Perhaps seek a referral from friends who use the Kaiser system. And don’t miss any opportunity to leave a suggestion in a suggestion box or rate your physician’s performance. Organizations like Kaiser are very data-driven, and it’s opinions from clients like you that ultimately determine their priorities. Good luck!
Judy Landers says
After my ovarian cancer diagnosis, stage IV, Nov. 26, 2014, my Chemo doctor just referred me to see my surgeon who actually performed my total hysterectomy in May 2009. It is now a peritoneal/omentum tumor. They disagreed — surgery on the front end of chemo or in the middle of treatment. They are both busy busy people. Although there is a sign now (but not in 2009) in the patient waiting room which advertises integrative care, when you leave that doctors office with that kind of diagnosis you are numb. Other than the referral to the surgeon, there was no referral to some one that I could talk to for an hour or so — a knowledgeable medical/surgical person who can point out the pro’s and con’s. What are other options, what are the ramifications of going to surgery to remove a 2.3cm tumor, what if I go to surgery and they and they puncture the fluid sack (Acities) probably filled with tumor cells. Of course that surgeon said he would operate. That’s how he makes his living. Do you think he was going to tell me “no?” Today, I am still not done with talking to all the people that I need to consult with because I have to find them myself ——. Are there any clinical trials that might help me? My ideal doctor would have given me all of those tools. New and successful ways of treating cancer is evolving daily. The doctors are not keeping up and they still have their western medicine blinders on tight.
Judy Landers
drshanifox says
Thanks for sharing your experience, Judy. “Integrative” doesn’t just mean a lot of different specialists sitting in the same office. It means that practitioners of various types (whether in the same office or not) are collaborating willingly, each contributing their strength in order to provide the most comprehensive care for you, the patient. This includes care of the mental/emotional side of whatever is going on, particularly where cancer is involved. I’m sorry to hear you’re not receiving the kind of care that your medical group is advertising.
Whenever the time seems right, give your medical group feedback about your experience, and what it is you feel you need. Patient voices are very important in spurring change.