S’s fear of recurrence was so bad it brought on headaches, even panic attacks. Though she’s currently healthy, her days were gauntlets of trying to escape the fear. Her husband was worried about her, and she was struggling to keep it together as mother to her two year old.
Desperate for relief, S enrolled in my Tame the Tiger program. In less than an hour she learned the five simple steps to calm her body and mind, giving her back the power to replace her fearful thoughts with healthy, enlivening ones. I asked S to practice her steps daily, even multiple times a day, so her body would redevelop the memory of feeling confident and calm.
At our followup call, S told me she was learning to head off panic attacks, and that she hadn’t had a headache for a week. “Tell me more about how you did that,” I asked.
“I really focused on the breathing and gratitude steps,” she told me. “I found ways to be grateful for everything, even my headaches. I was grateful I could feel them. If I couldn’t I wouldn’t be alive.”
Wow. I can’t remember the last time I was grateful for a headache.
It’s easy to be grateful for what’s good in our lives, and that’s a great thing to do.
But deep healing happens when we take off any limits we’ve placed on gratitude.
S’s immersion in gratitude for everything, even the nasty things, was a powerful reminder to me this week. When my computer died the same day I talked to S, believe me: I was tempted to moan and groan in frustration. Instead I headed straight for the computer store and got busy finding a replacement.
I was grateful for the car that faithfully transported me there.
I was grateful for my husband, who knows more than I do about such things and came along in support.
I was grateful for the helpful salesperson, who patiently answered our questions and offered us alternatives.
I was grateful to pay an extra fee for file transfer from my old computer, knowing I’d pay a much larger price in time and frustration if I tried to do it myself.
And I was grateful to have a shiny new computer up and running on my desk the next day, so I could write this message to you.
What have you been struggling with? Is it possible there’s something to be grateful for in that struggle?
If you want to slap me for asking that question, I’d understand.
But if you choose to think about it and leave me your insights below, my hat’s off to you.
And if you try and can’t find the gratitude, there’s nothing wrong with you. It can be hard, and I don’t know anyone who learned to do it at school.
But you don’t have to remain in the fear and struggle either. Let’s talk and find you a way out.
Believing in you.