There are times in my life when I’ve been gifted with marvelous clarity. I knew exactly what I wanted to do, and quickly learned who I needed to become in order to achieve it. Clarity gave me the courage to live overseas for five years, to leave the corporate world to become a doctor and to walk the 490-mile Camino de Santiago.
I remember those chapters with great joy, not only for what was achieved, but because knowing and loving where I was headed allowed me to walk there without fear. Each time it was crystal clear to me that I was fulfilling a piece of my destiny, and there was no reason the Universe would get in my way. To the contrary: it did all it could to help me succeed, including providing enough challenges to see if I had the resilience to persist.
Just over a year ago I was gifted with clarity again, but this time it wasn’t about an outcome I loved. It became clear that I needed to leave my marriage.
I resisted that voice of clarity for some time. But in the end I had to acknowledge what life had taught me: that clarity is precious, and the price of ignoring it is high. It was a gift, whether or not I loved what it was asking me to do. With a heavy heart I followed its lead, this time not knowing quite where I was headed.
Since then I’ve moved forward one step at a time: simplifying my belongings, moving to a wonderful new “nest” and creating a respectful, amicable divorce. I stay close to what gives me joy: singing, long walks, dancing (including new tango lessons!) and witnessing the remarkable growth of my grandbabies. I take care of my body, so it will be ready to support me as my next chapter takes shape.
A year later I’m still not sure where I’m headed. Yet I’m coming to realize that as long as I’m intentional about how I spend my time and energy, the Universe is no less behind me than it’s been when I was pursuing clear and brilliant dreams. Healing is happening, and clarity is gathering somewhere behind the clouds.
Just last night I was encouraged hearing this:
“God has you in a beautiful plane, circling the airport. You’re waiting for some things to be clear. You’re waiting for the fog to lift. The runway is still there. Your blessings still await you. God is readying you and readying your destiny for you and in that perfect moment the fog will lift and a bright light from heaven will point the way to the success that awaits you.”**
You may have found yourself in a “holding pattern” too. Perhaps cancer treatment has taken up so much of your energy that you can’t focus on anything but getting through. Perhaps putting your life back together beyond cancer or another life-changing event has been harder than you expected, and your path forward isn’t clear yet. The uncertainty is uncomfortable, perhaps even upsetting. You wish you could find your clarity again.
It’s OK, my friend. The Universe hasn’t lost sight of you. It’s right behind you, cheering you on and loving you. Keep taking each healthy step you know how to take, even if you can’t see your path forward yet.
Your clarity, like mine, is on the way.
*****
Talk with Dr. Shani
It’s my joy to offer you a personal, complimentary Clarity Conversation of up to 60 minutes. You’ll come away clearer about what you’ve been struggling with, what you’d love your life to look like, and the best next steps to get you there.
**from Oprah Winfrey’s podcast of her interview with Pastor Wintley Phipps
Gail Jones says
Dr. Shani: I thank you for sharing with great vulnerability and courage the ways you deal with your “holding pattern.” So often we mistakenly think change is about taking action. Being still and waiting can be challenging as you noted, but moving forward without clarity often creates chaos or a repeat of a past we hoped to leave behind.
Congrats to you for following your joy every step of the way…steps are good, they prepare us for bigger leaps. Bless you for your many gifts–and especially for your first-hand experience of dealing with the unknown and guiding others to embrace it post cancer. ~ Gail Kauranen Jones, author of Cancer as a Love Story: Developing the Mindset for Living.
drshanifox says
Thank you for your kind words, Gail. I know you’re no stranger to the unknown, and you’ve been a model to me of how to face it with optimism and grace. Sending you a big hug today!