Ever found yourself being gloomy – even surly – and complaining? Maybe you were tired of a life full of doctor appointments, or of people around you who just couldn’t understand what you were going through.
What is it you wanted most in those moments?
I heard this story from one of the members of my private Facebook group, Women Rising Beyond Cancer, and couldn’t wait to share it with you.
“I ran into a woman in the store yesterday. She was elderly, possibly in her 80s, with a man in his 60s who I believe was her son. She was yelling and cussing at him while trying to read a note from her doctor. She seemed to be a difficult woman, maybe angry with her health and circumstances.
Everyone in the store could hear her. She kept yelling and saying mean, hateful things. Her son refused to help her due to how she was treating him. People were whispering and talking about how horrible she was.
I decided to walk up and ask her if she needed help.
Her whole demeanor changed. She was struggling with constipation, and couldn’t read what the doctor had recommended for her, or the ingredient lists on the items she had taken from the shelves. I explained I’d had colon cancer and made some recommendations for what to try, as I had often dealt with constipation in the past. She was grateful and thanked me. She asked if I worked there, and seemed surprised I helped even though I didn’t work for the store. I have been through a lot and I never complained but many people are going through things and just want a little compassion. I like to take time to show up with love, especially to the unlovely, as I don’t know what they may be dealing with. Just thought I’d share this…show up with love y’all! 💕 “
In every life there are days that feel hard. That’s certainly true when you have or had cancer. The physical challenges, the emotional yo-yos, the loneliness when people just don’t seem to understand, all can lead to disappointment, despair, even rage.
It’s tempting to vent those emotions, and yes, that would be an authentic representation of what you’re feeling.
But what do you really want? Will showing up to others in disappointment or rage get it for you?
Every so often there’s an angel who can see through our disappointment, our grief, our rage, and offer us a hand in support. We often remember those people with gratitude and affection. It would be wonderful if more of us were skilled at that.
But most people are scared of strong emotions and will run the other way, or yell back. That doesn’t get you the help you need. It just leaves you angrier, or more lonely.
Find a safe place to vent your emotions if you need to. Then take a deep breath and ask yourself: what do I want most right now?
Am I feeling confused, and needing a compassionate guide?
Am I feeling afraid, and wanting a hand to hold?
Am I feeling helpless against circumstances I can’t control, and wanting someone to help me find solid ground again?
Noticing what you really need is the first step to getting it.
That’s showing up in love for yourself…and you’re worth it, my friend.
Here for you always,
PS – I feel like the luckiest person alive because I get to show up for you in love no matter what you’re dealing with right now. Need a loving hand? Let’s talk.
Talk with Dr. Shani
It’s my joy to offer you a personal, complimentary Clarity Conversation of up to 60 minutes. You’ll come away clearer about what you’ve been struggling with, what you’d love your life to look like, and the best next steps to get you there.