Here in Portland OR we’ve had nearly non-stop rain for the last 17 days.  So when today dawned with a patch of blue in the sky, I quickly laced up my trail runners for a brisk 5-mile walk.

My favorite part of the route is a flat, shaded stretch after a half-mile uphill climb. The views are beautiful, but today my favorite view was straight up: treetops in spectacular autumn color, framed against a crystal-blue sky.

In the quiet, a perfect yellow maple leaf touched me on the shoulder in its dance toward the earth.

That little leaf was a delightful reminder of the lightness and magic in what can otherwise be a somber season.  Shortening days and frostier temperatures drive us inside our homes and inside ourselves.  It’s a season of harvest and reflection.

Sometimes my reflections are my own musings. Other times they’re spurred by things you’ve said.  This year, the theme seems to be how to deal with reminders of uncertainty.

Everyone’s life has elements of uncertainty.  But when you’ve had cancer the reminders may seem to be everywhere, and they can hit hard. 

What do I say when someone asks if I’m STILL in remission?

My cousin has cancer, and I’m afraid to be around her. What do I do?

How can I manage when anything about cancer – even a survivor celebration – makes me cry?

Fair questions.

Uncertainty’s a fact of life.  We can’t make it go away, but we can keep it out of the driver’s seat.

I’ll continue this conversation in my next post.

Believing in you-

Dr. Shani

*****

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